Thursday, June 10, 2004
or so i thought. it turns out chirsinta eithe got back with him or i dont know. my hart began to feel the paint it had abck in 3rd grade. and i didnt want to let her go. so i kept triing. eventually she did break up with paul. but now is where my problem is she doesnt just like me. she likes bryant and jb also. my feelings are just about dead, but hey are staying alive in hopes that she will choose me in theend. band if that isnt bad enough ti had brought a fewd between me and my parents they dont like that fact that she is balck. well i relaly dont care. i am an adult and i can do what i wasnt with my life. itsn their choose. i wish they could seee that . but the wont. and i dont know what to do or think anymore. im worried it will end badly if my past is any indication. i will have to just see how things play out and hope "the wind ablows my way." but as usual nothing can stay that simple news just arrived that she likes another guy. should i really just give up like everyone says.? because i ahve spilt my heart to her, and i dont think i have anyting else left to give. she is keeping things from me still. i can tell she trust me. but still not fully. i guess that wind is just not on my side and anymore. but what am i to do... maybe i shoudl just not be thier and see how ti turns out. i hate keeping to me self mroe. but ithink, in the end ithis is what im going to do.my past i thought i got rid of, hsa now come back again. i only pray that this time i dont bring someone down with me. all my friends if i were to go, thak you. and i'm sorry for any pain i may have casued.i have decided that the silence will become my way of life ocne gain for it is the only way i truely know of not hurting anyone. well just recieved the news. bryatn gets the girl again. i love my bro, but gain he gets what he wants. damn t his world. unlucky me. id cry if i could but i cant anymore. i tried so hard to abe the person taht i used to be. but silent me is the best. next year is my senior year. i should talk with everyone. be happy . TOO HELL. im pissed, sad amongst other things. honestly i wou ldnt care if i did die tomorrow!!!!!!! i just give up on life. im just gonna keep to my self from now on. the hurt is just too deep this time. after all the fighting... i lost. it's just all over. everything . i ahte being down. but what do i expect, i just got told that my bro get the girl that i love. its like a soap opera gone from bad to worse. my hatered for people just reached it's peak and their is NO comming back.im supposed to be a great person.
oh well i cant finsih, mother wants to fight again.
Lately things have been weird in my life. this year has brought to me some mometns and plenty bad. i guess you can say it all started back when i started F.T. Corry. i started there in erd greade. that wasnt bad. it's that none of my child hood friends were ther with me. they all ent to a school named. upe. so here i was in a brand new school with no friends. and at this point in my life, this is where my parents started working so much they were never home. it took me along time to adapt to the fact that i had four years in theis school. making friends wasn't all taht easy. i was picked on all the time. but somehow i made a few friends, witch end up bieng my only friendsfrom that schoo, marcus, travis, and brain. brain i didnt get to know till my 3rd yearthier. he transfered to the school. not being racial but he was my only white friend. and that mhad major impact on my life. it made me come to reaze that where my old friends dont care about me anymore, i have a new family of friends that didnt care what race was. that lead s up to know but their is more to the earlier part of the stroy i end up likeing only one girl from that school. megan eaton. she is still as beautiful today sa she was back then. now for a long time we would see each other and not talk. but one day after shcool while i was drinking from the water fountain she said "hello James" i lmost chocked. it was funny. but i turned around and said hey. now eventually my crush on her almost breaks mine and brains friendship up.(it almost cost him his life) one day when we were at recess, i dont remember exactly what he wsaid to me, but it got me so angry i jacked him up against a tree and we almost faught, but marcusgot me off of him before i could do anything. i never told him i was sorry for that. and i never will for two reasons, he's gone now, and i wasn't sorry. at one point i hagave meagan a set of 24kt. gold earings, necklasce, and bracelet. the sparkle in her eyes was amazing. well one day i was going to my dad's truck to go home and she runs up behind me and gives me a wax haeart. when she told me what the heart meant, i told my self i wou ld keep it forever. and i kept it for eight years, untill i gave it to christina. and i'm glad i did because it was the final part of my past. that was t.tcorry. the graduation was great. our class sung two songs. "i belive i can fly" and "because you love me" that night was the first time i interacted with my paretns in along time. the cake had black liqurish it it. LOL!!! it wa fun.then three months later i started middle school. it was here where my roads started intertwining, because all my old friends had come back. now we were in the high school for a year and 1/2 of our middle cschool year. during my middle school years i triied to balance out my old friends with my new. and for along time it looked like it was working. my middle school lilfe taught me that i can survive at home alone, because my parents were never home. i learned how to do mabny different things. when i entered my first year of highschool i kept to my self because my old friends and my new ones and i all had differ3ent intrest. my old friends went for football. my new ones ffa. and me, i picked a raod i want eaxpecting. jrotci put all my focus on jrotc to keep me from doing alot of things. i had seen a councler at least once by then. my second year iswhen i started to get new buddies. jb, bryant marcus, etc... well it was good for em because i became social again. but it didnt get rid of my past and i never brought it up to them. it weas this year that has changed me to a different person. i strted caring less of rotc and more about me. well it was mid way throught he school year when christina through her birthday party. now at that point i had no real feelings for her. then during the party we stared to get closer and spend some tiem together and suddenlly i ffelt somting. i told jb about it and lef ti alone. untill they wanted me to be part of a game where christina wanted to make bryant mad. but no one expected christina to fall for me. too. but she had a boyfriend no one knew about. paul. and then this hatred built up in him. he wanted me out of the picture. but both of us were out.
hey glazill, thanx for veiwing the site, i promise you i will get some more up i just didnt have as much time today as i thought i did, but monday i should. and ill try and have at least pomes up for you by then....
Thursday, May 27, 2004
yester day i mentioned new poems and new songs. well here is one i wrote. its called one. and i got one. and i failed..
i have one chance to tell you how much i love you.
i have one chance to prove to you i'm for real.
i have one chance to make a mistake then i'm gone.
oneis plenty enough for me. i promis4e you with all of my heart that one is all i'll ever need.one night at a time and you will slowly see it too. one life witch is mine i'm giving it all away just to say your mine. one day at a time.
one word, onefeeling, every emition comming unwound. the mysteries in witch used to inhabbit me are now for you to see.
finally after so long,i was waiting, but when i look in your eyes i feel your the only one for me. forevery second that ticks off the clock my heart is the one for you and it keeps growing by the day.
just this one last time.
written by:James Lee Geeter
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
i promised you more poetry in soon times to come well here is your first taste of the new works, hope you enjoy.
She says to me, be patient. but i know not
if I can. This is the best thing that has
happened to me in very long time. My past
not one I like to recall. It's deep and
dark. But her's the same. No I'm not making
you rush to a unwilling descision. Take your
time, I will be patient. Patience is said to
be a virtue. One that is hard to learn. I
look to the stars above for an answer. The
right one that i yurn to have. Every word
that comes from your mouth just keeps me
holding on, the taste of you lips makes me
think of new songs. Patient I will be. If
that is as you wish. Now I am patiently
waiting to see you and me.
James Lee Geeter
so whats up all im just sitten here relaxin takeen my time in theis class since i have nothing to do. school is amlsot out. we have 2 days left. -thanks god- you know how it is. well i betta get out of here b/c 2 much stuff to do. well talk to ya laterz. bye
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
hey whats up all i know that i havent posted in along time and im really really sorry, but school is comming to a close and then i will be able to post more often. i just told a girl i like in and email to her something like this,
best friends can sometimes be your worst enimes, and sometimes your worst enimes can turn out to be your best friends. dont be surprized about the good they could have inside.
so many factors work into friendship and relationships..............
well thats all i can do for now. .... b
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
hey whats up yall, well gotta go, bye
hey whats up all, i got some new poems ready, but i left them at home. so ill get them for ya by next week. i hope you will enjoy them, well im in rotc class they are kinda strict, so i gotta go, bye
Monday, March 08, 2004
hey whats up all, we went to warner robbins this past weekend, and we won 3 trophies. it was great. we had all sorts of people cheering us on. and know when we go to state compition its going to be rough for everyone involved b/c they know we are tough compition. in other news, the storm still rages around the house hold. as well at school, new developments keep happening by the day. ill keep you posted the best i can in the little time i get on. im working on a new song i hope you will all like, it should be done withing a couple of weeks when i get some time off.
love ya all
Thursday, March 04, 2004
hey whats up, sorry its been a while since i have gotten on, im sorry about that, but all the school stuff i have been having going on is really taking its tone on me. i v been really tired. yea i have got a couple of new poems written but i dont think i will post them this time, i just want to take the time to let you know that i wont be back on prob for about a week at most. also if i dont come back, its not b/c i forgot, i just got lots of people who well arent happy with me right now and i dont know if i want to stay here. one more year of school left but im not sure that its worth it anymore. but i keep telling my self the way i can prove them wrong is to keep going. they want me to fail. but i wont. my friends have some what turned on me. thers other things i wish to type on here as well , but i fear that it will only make people worry, well the ones that care anyway. im hopeing this will all blow over, but if not i jus want to say to everyone that loves me, i love you 2. well this class will end in just a bit and i got practice to go 2. really hope to get to talk to you all much later.